My anxiety story | Annie

Hey Everyone, 

How are you doing? Hope you're good. OK, I know I am the worst at posting and uploading but I have the videos filmed but I'm going to edit it soon. I'm also planning a collab with my YouTube Bestie (Dare to be Kristen) but it's still being planned so bare with me (or us - either way you look at it). 

Anyway, to today's post. Anxiety. I'm talking about my experience and how I deal with it. So here it goes....

I always worried when I was little but never thought it would turn into what it is now. I was bullied during the time I worried too, I eventually never left the house (unless I was going to school), I would go into the garden but that was it. After a few years of the bullying it got bad and my family didn't like our house so we moved (ps we love our house). So the bullying stopped and I was happy and I was making friends that I knew were my friends. I was happy. I was me! Until a few months ago, this is when my life turned upside, I was bombarded with all these challenges both in the relationships with my family and friends as well as school getting much more stressful with exams. I'm not saying I had arguments or anything, stuff that happened in their lives were affecting me (because I wanted to help but I guess I couldn't handle it); obviously I won't use names or name what happened because it's not fair to them (I'm sure you understand). After months of this stress piling up, and quite fast may I add, I decided one night that I didn't feel too good so I went to bed. I couldn't fall asleep at all, I then started thinking about all of this stress which made everything worst. I started freaking out, crying, hyperventilating and sweating. I was petrified what happened, even though it didn't last long. I then remembered that I watched a video of Zoella's about panic attacks so I got onto my ipod and watched it again. It was then I realised that I had a panic attack. I did test after test after test after test online to confirm my thoughts (I didn't want to wake up my parents because I was probably being stupid and what was I suppose to tell them? - this was all in my head at the time). Soon afterwards I had another one but with sweating, crying, tight chest and when I got up to go to the bathroom my legs went completely numb. I didn't sleep at all that night. At 6am I came down stairs and my dad was up and I told him what happened. He told me to try calm down and don't freak out much (even though I couldn't, he probably didn't know how to comfort me at this time). I'm not going to lie it was petrifying but if you have them it CANNOT kill you, it may feel like it but it can't. Talk to someone about how you feel they CAN help. This was my story about my first panic attack I've had about 6 (I think) since then but haven't had them. I've talked to a counsellor about everything that bothered me and it did help but I do get anxious. I'm not sure if I've got used to panic attacks or this feeling. I just freak out and think negative thoughts about me and the situation (something bad will happen: on a trip, in an exam, I'll get a bad grade, I'm not pretty etc.) I know it's not a good thing that I'm used to it and don't want to go out of the house but I have youtube, you, facebook, netflix, my two best friends (who I can talk to online - they are Kristen and my best friend from school (Grace)). But this year I'm trying to get out more (even though I had a small panic attack on a bus two weeks ago). 

So! How to feel less anxious or my tips (these are what I would tell myself if I was having a panic attack):
  1. Breathe! Keep your breathing under control, especially if you're hyperventilating.
  2. Try and get yourself out of the situation - if it's at school tell a friend and try and get out of class, if you're in a restaurant go into the toilets, in a hall of some sort go outside for some fresh air.
  3. Listen to music or a calming app - there are so many playlists on youtube or spotify for calming music. A good app I use is calm.com if you close your eyes and imagine that you're at the beach and listen to the waves it helps so much (I also like the lady talking as well). 
  4. Remember that it can't kill you, tell yourself that you WILL be ok.
These are my tips but Zoella gave even better tips (linked below). But if you do have anxiety and panic attacks tell someone that you trust: a friend, family member, teacher, co-worker or even a doctor.

I hope you found this post useful and what do you want to see (DIYs, QnAs, beauty, fashion etc.)
Thanks for reading (YouTube videos up soon).
Annie xx

Zoella's videos:


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